If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
