what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
My ass is underappreciated
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I came so hard my ears popped.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
