drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
