Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize