I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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