Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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