Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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