There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize