My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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