she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You are the jesus of drinking
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
