This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
