Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
