Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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