If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
