she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
