im gay
i know
yea but for you.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
