When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
