I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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