I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
