I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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