Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
