As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
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Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
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if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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