How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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