if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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