he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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