i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
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All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
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Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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