and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
