you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize