i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
