I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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