the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
