I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
