I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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