How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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