Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize