yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
