we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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