went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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