Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
