sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
