i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
My bed smells like the plague
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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