I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
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