the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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