I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Randomize
