Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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