this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
