I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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