nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
