I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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