I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
