Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
