So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
