I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
