I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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