hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Michael Bay diarrhea
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
