Don't make out with my wife yet
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
zippers are such a cool invention
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
