It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
