I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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