I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
