i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
