david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize