My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I wish you could order shots online.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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