Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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